Horny Christian Singles Want To Date You

It suprises me that this late in the game 85% of Internet traffic still consists of spam email. I emptied the bulk folder of my Yahoo! account about three days ago but currently it contains more than 330 of them. 

Many of these emails are fairly innocuous solicitations for printer toner, insurance, car loans, credit cards, stock purchases (including, somewhat strangely in light of the environmental health of the Gulf of Mexico, crude oil trading), used cars, and online education, along with various products from pet food to frozen burritos. Then there are the inevitable politically-oriented ones ("Don't Vote for Mini-Meg!" reads one subject line), which always increase in number as we approach a primary election. My favorite is one I've gotten multiple times, its subject line announcing "This Is Why You're Fat!" I haven't clicked on it to find out the answer. Then there are multitudes of penis enlargement offers, along with enticements from the naughty above-mentioned Christians and their fellow Asian Mail Order Brides, Swinging Singles, and Sexy Housewives.

Probably what bothers me most about spam, aside from having to delete it or worry about the malicious codes they may contain in terms of viruses, worms and spyware, is that it violates the primary directive of modern marketing: these efforts are not targeted to consumers likely to purchase their wares. I don't have a pet, need more insurance, or eat frozen burritos. And I wouldn't touch a sexy Christian with a ten-foot pole, let alone with a medically-enhanced penis. The thinking, if you can call it that, behind these massive email blasts is that the medium is so cheap to use it allows you to carpet-bomb the Internet, ensuring a profit from the handful of people likely to respond to your promotion. And, of course, you should never send a marketing promotion to someone who hasn't chosen to "opt in" to your messaging.

Laws have been put into place that come down hard on spammers whose emails originate in the United States and certain other countries -- they can be fined $1,000 for every instance. Unfortunately, spammers operate out of unregulated countries like Brazil and Sri Lanka, and little can be done to curtail the tide.

But it's amazing that even the foreign bank account inheritance scam is still in operation -- I get about five a week. Is there anybody in the world still naive enough to transmit funds to Nigeria?